The Devil Wears Aso-Ebi

Iya Femi seemed to be twerking as the band belted some Sir Shina Peters classics: Afro Juju and others. I was uninformed as to whether her glee was contrived from her son’s long-awaited nuptials, or that he was marrying into wealth. I did not care much for why a sixty-something year-old mama was giving Shakira a run for her money, I just wanted jollof rice.

All was well and dandy till mama shaking-her-bumbum-Femi ordered that the waiters temporarily stopped all food services, so we could dance properly. Now, two things are important in a Nigerian wedding: the Jollof rice and traditional attire (Aso ebi) . The Families are usually dressed to kill; even the ‘friends of the family’ dress to impress. Jollof rice is the omega and the god of item 7. So how dare mama shaking-her-bumbum Femi interrupt the flow of Jollof?

Chaos ensued: “Femi has finally married, we must dance, we must dance!”. I did not care that Femi was embarrassed, i just wanted the Jollof. As I was a mo gbo, mo ya (an uninvited guest), I did not wait long enough to partake of the jollof. I had never seen the devil until that day; she was wearing Aso-ebi and dancing to Shina Peters.

I have since decided to solely attend weddings I am invited to.

For the love of Jollof

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36 thoughts on “The Devil Wears Aso-Ebi

  1. Similoluwa

    As a confirmed mogbo moya myself, I would be very furious if the flow of jollof rice was stopped for any reason except it is to make an announcement that I can get three take away packs of more jollof rice

  2. Rukyat Rabiu

    Jollof of life. Funny enough I literally just had jollof with some shaki and pomo. And now sleep is knocking. Bare in mind I’m on my lunch break. Who takes jollof to work?

    But yeah Thanks for sharing Tomilads

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