Kunle And The Poem Diary

mare

“dear God, keep the devil away
if she wears a dress and red lipstick
then bring the devil my way”

Kunle’s words were like bitter-kola in this mother’s mouth. Words like ‘sex’, ‘breast’, and ‘Succubus’ were glaring as she flipped through the pages of his now-wrinkling diary of poems.

“Ah! daddy-kunle, we are finished, we are finished ooo. Our son has started watching blue-film. He now has girlfriends and worships the devil”

A mortified kunle, wondered how his poetry led his mother to such conclusions.

“Mummy, they are just poems. Don’t get daddy involved in this”

” Just poems? Mo ti ku (i have died). Kunle tell me, are you still a Virgin?”

” Yes mummy, I am only fourteen but it is really none of your business’

“None of my business? I am dead ooo. Ye! mo gbe, Chai!”

” You are still breathing, stop saying you are dead”

 Daddy-Kunle does not ask too much questions. He was popularly known as daddy no-shaking.

Mummy-kunle, what is the matter? A man cannot shit in peace again?”

it is your son oo, he is writing about blue film”

” Ehn, Kunle, is it true?”

Before Kunle could get two words in edgeways, there was kerosine over his poem-diary. Kunle wondered why his poem about a half-insomnia driven night, filled with the possibility of pubertal nocturnal emissions (Wet Dreams), got his parents angry enough to burn his work of art.

“A succubus and a mare
Came to me last night
Her breasts were the devil’s bait
But mother told me to,
wait for coitus in matrimony 
The mare wouldn’t let me sleep
But sleep, i did.

Dear God, keep the devil away

If she wears a dress and red lipstick
Then bring the devil my way

But Mother said wait for Coitus
‘it is more dignified in Matrimony’ ”
Kunle Osuntogun

“Bloood of Jesus, burn this book” – Mummy-Kunle and Daddy no-shaking screamed as Kunle’s poem-diary burnt to ashes in the backyard. 

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