A Sad Rant

I’m in a web of pains right now: physical, mental and emotional. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life. The irony is I’ve never had this much friends. No, the fault is not theirs. Sorrow and pain are two very selfish emotions especially the former (for me at least). I don’t want to be the subject of anyone’s burdens yet I want everyone to hug me. I’m on the verge of doing something crazy, which I won’t but I just can’t help but welcome the thought… As it has always been for a large part of my life, my best friend is a blank piece of paper or word template. I’m not normally this openly melodramatic but for the first time in while, it’s too much to handle. It’s bigger than my mind can take; it’s way bigger than me. I disappointed lots of people and most heartbreakingly, myself. With all due respect spare me the “everything’s going to be alright” speech…actually don’t: I need it. All I want now is a hug and a vampire to make me forget this past week. This might come across as somewhat immature but I have to cope, I have to vent, my brain might explode if I don’t. Happiness is a choice I know, but what to do when it’s not one of the options! Arghhhhh!!!! I hate bloody Med school and almost hate my life right now. I haven’t had a meal two days save the potato chips I ate and the chocolate too. A bit angry at God but I know he didn’t want this nor did he cause it … I’m an optimist though and it landed me here, only difference right now is I’m indifferent on Hope which is a shame really…Writing is my gift, why not use it to vent and express an emotion I feel but can’t show and explain with spoken words. This would be a good time to take one of my many motivational advices but I’m obviously high on emotions… Oh well… goodnight, good morning, good day… I wouldn’t normally share this on here but like I said it’s too much, just too much!!

                                                                                                                         Tomi Olugbemi


17 thoughts on “A Sad Rant

  1. Such emotions come with wearing a flesh. That’s why we are humans. Life’s challenges are very often very burdensome. It definitely would have given you some relief sharing this.
    In your own words, I want to assure you that everything will be fine. In my own words, I would say, it doesn’t really matter what anybody thinks, as long as you are putting in your best. Most of life’s pressures come from a feeling that we are falling below the standards of others. As an optimist, continue to see the bright side and keep advancing towards it. You will definitely get there! Cheer up!

  2. Like Tiwaladeo say, talk to God, it does help.
    And as unoriginal as this sounds, it will pass… I have very crazy mood swings myself, so I’m used to ups and lows… It will pass

  3. Afoma

    Aww. It does always get better. And yes, God always gets it, even if no one else does. Med school can be a bummer, but, believe it gets better. This too shall pass.

  4. Hang in there and you’ll be ok. It may seem tough now but you will get through it. I know how it is to be weighed down by a lot of things and it did not seem like there was a way out. Things will work out for you in time.

  5. Olisa

    You’ve gotten many cheer ups bro, but nevertheless I’ll add mine. Cheer up! When you are lying on the thorny side of the bed of life, remember the rosy side. You are cherished.

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