I’m in a web of pains right now: physical, mental and emotional. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life. The irony is I’ve never had this much friends. No, the fault is not theirs. Sorrow and pain are two very selfish emotions especially the former (for me at least). I don’t want to be the subject of anyone’s burdens yet I want everyone to hug me. I’m on the verge of doing something crazy, which I won’t but I just can’t help but welcome the thought… As it has always been for a large part of my life, my best friend is a blank piece of paper or word template. I’m not normally this openly melodramatic but for the first time in while, it’s too much to handle. It’s bigger than my mind can take; it’s way bigger than me. I disappointed lots of people and most heartbreakingly, myself. With all due respect spare me the “everything’s going to be alright” speech…actually don’t: I need it. All I want now is a hug and a vampire to make me forget this past week. This might come across as somewhat immature but I have to cope, I have to vent, my brain might explode if I don’t. Happiness is a choice I know, but what to do when it’s not one of the options! Arghhhhh!!!! I hate bloody Med school and almost hate my life right now. I haven’t had a meal two days save the potato chips I ate and the chocolate too. A bit angry at God but I know he didn’t want this nor did he cause it … I’m an optimist though and it landed me here, only difference right now is I’m indifferent on Hope which is a shame really…Writing is my gift, why not use it to vent and express an emotion I feel but can’t show and explain with spoken words. This would be a good time to take one of my many motivational advices but I’m obviously high on emotions… Oh well… goodnight, good morning, good day… I wouldn’t normally share this on here but like I said it’s too much, just too much!!